Schools are coming back to life in Arizona...

New teachers returned today - I love the energy of those right out of college ready to change the world one child at a time... and even the teachers new to our school have an excitement I hope they hold onto as the year continues.

This summer I had the opportunity to observe a few of my teachers share their learning after a five week internship at ASU - the sparks in their communciations about what they have learned gave me some hope that even the most cynical adult can adjust their thinking if given the proper motivation and input...

From my perspective our schools come alive as we get closer to - the return of students... without them, whatever the age, a school can be a cold, boring place.

Tyler is getting excited for her school year to start on Monday... she will be an eighth grader. My baby is a big teenager! High school registration will occur in just about four months...yikes - where did the time go?

Dylan will return to her special montessori school on Wednesday, she can't wait, the rest of us are boring compared to the fun of school.

Kirk and I have been going on group rides every saturday and sunday... I am really enjoying the rides and Kirk enjoys that we can do this together. It is a lot of fun, and you really learn a lot about yourself, especially around mile 60 or so when you are just trying to keep up so you don't get lost because you lost your map :). I think he has convinced me to participate in a race in Moab Utah in September...I am so easily coerced :)

Heard from my birthmother and brother... such a sad story. Her cancer is terminal; however, she is still receiving radiation treatments. She is drinking heavily. Apparently there was an incident this past week where she drank too much and there was a poor reaction with the alcohol and her pain medication. When her ride came to pick her up for radiation it was noted she was crawling to the car so they called the ambulance to get her... it was an alcohol poisoning issue. I feel bad for my brother as he just makes excuses for her... how sad it is to hear about this story; I hope my brother gets his life and identity back before he is too old, he is 40 and has lived his whole life for his mother, whether taking care of her physically, financially, or just from afar making excused for the way she hurts herself. I just had to know didn't I?

I received an email from the mother of my birthson this week. I have not heard from her since our disagreement or difference in opinion last May when I wanted to attend my birthson's graduation... probably was the best thing for me not to attend as I was forced to be sad, mourn my choices, and move on (imagine that). Apparently he has now moved out of his parents home (amicably) and is living with his sister and holding down a job - doing well. Surprisingly, I was pretty unaffected by the email and attached photos. Not that I do not care, but I think this has shown me that I really have moved away from the past and into the present...it was nice to hear from her, but I did not need more information... I did not cry for hours (or at all actually)...well, I guess this is evidence that big girls can still grow up no matter the age :)

Things are going well... we are busy, but having a good time.

My girls are too cute...

Here they are, my two cuties with their "mommy" looks on... The other day, Dylan was irritated because her daddy was getting all of the mommy attention so she came up and said, "mom, you are a girl - no more boy time with daddy" too funny, she wants ALL of the attention. Tyler has learned to share, but she still needs her dose of mommy time... she will go from being angry and surly to sweet and cuddly in no time at all - it is hard for me to switch gears sometimes, but she is still my little girl just in a big body... I am pretty lucky to have them in my family!

Summer is winding down...

We just returned from a family road trip to Durango, CO. We went so Kirk could participate in a century road race (road biking). He did well, finished in four hours thirty-six minutes... he had a blast. We stayed at Kirk's sister's house... Dylan loved the toys, it was like a toy store for her, playing with someone else's toys. Tyler went under protest - she had fun a few times, but caught herself real quick and got surly. We just love her :). You can see in our pictures that Tyler opted out of the jaunt to the Animas River, we had fun and she watched TV in peace and quiet. You will notice a picture of Tyler in her favorite habitat... her bed. She is growing at an incredible pace this summer, she is nearly taller than I am and her feet are definitely larger than mine... she is going to be a tall young lady.  Her competitive swim team starts next week, she is nervous, but excited at the same time. Dylan goes back to school next week and Tyler in two weeks... then we will be back to our routine.... and by then our Griswald Family style road trip will be a distant memory. They fought non stop in the car - amazingly, Kirk is on the computer planning another road trip for he and I to participate in a race in the next couple of months in Moab - won't be a short drive... he forgets quickly :). I am sure it will be fun wherever he drags us :) by that time I will be ready for a trip b/c by that time work school and grad school will be back in full swing and I will want a break. So up next, school shopping and getting the girls back into a routine (bed time, homework time, getting up in the morning, and regulating a normal diet)... wow, they will be in a bit of culture shock this weekend. 

Why?

• Why do preschool teachers give whistles to three year olds? (how long will it take me to "misplace it"?)
• Why do 13 year olds feel the need to spend every waking moment (there are only about six of those moments) texting, seeing, or otherwise interacting with their friends?
• Why am I so much smaller than my oldest daughter... makes for interesting discipline situations (she could smash me).
• Why do I come home so late?
• Why are my kids so perfectly mannered and behaved when we are around other people and absolutely wild at times around me?
• Why don't I just live in the moment and enjoy the blessings?

Daughters are the best ________ !

Daughters give the best hugs - especially when you are not expecting them and you need them.
Daughters say the cutest things... so cute and so often, it is hard to remember them all.
Daughters give you a glimpse of yourself (good and bad) keeps a chick in check!
Daughters are better than dogs because they can actually verbalize how happy they are to see you (as opposed to just wagging and jumping).
Daughters are fun to hang out with - through it all we enjoy each other's company.
Daughters understand the word quiet (nephews don't) and are happy cuddling any hour of the day.
Daughters (and brothers - hee hee couldn't resist) are fun to dress up and play tea party with any day of the week.
Daughters are in tune with their mother emotionally (or vice versa)...poor dads can be out of the loop at times.
I am so fortunate to have two daughters.

HMMMM - Keeping Busy :)

Okay, here is an update... it seems like a long time has passed between posts... we are busy, but much stays the same.
Tyler - loving swim team and improving her fitness which translates into quicker times. Summer swimmers only compete in 50's... the fall will bring competition in the 200's. Tyler is good at the butterfly and freestyle strokes. She is spending her summer with friends and sleeping. I did not realize a human could sleep nearly 20 hours a day... she wakes up to eat, text, swim, and eat again. Her roller coaster moods have been more mild lately than usual. I won't question it, just appreciate the break.
Dylan: loves her school, cookies, ballerinas, qubo, and reading books. Dylan is in a whiny phase. I can ignore it quite well, Kirk has a harder time ignoring the whining. Dylan loves to draw and her favorite lunch includes sandwiches cut out with cookie cutters in the shape of icre cream cones and rhinos. She is learning to be a better listener lately... not a lot of progress, just learning.
Kirk - getting into his triathalon training. He has agreed to race with me in our first tri together. He rode his first century today... (100 miles on his bike). He has recently found hot yoga to be the answer to what age has done to his muscles and joints... he goes twice a week and is trying to convince me to go...
Kerri: Trying to keep up with training, work and school... just finished one summer class - with an A by the way. Have one more that is online - piece of cake. Riding the bike 5 days a week, running 6 days a week and need to purchase my swim tether so I can practice my swimming technique. September 27 is our first little race... followed by a 109 bicycle race in Tucson in November... Work is work... things are just fine.

So as busy as we seem to be, we are just following the routine and getting by...if AZ legislature would pass a budget we would be better. Janet just had to leave us with Brewer... rats. Just when you think things could not get worse Brewer tries to make a decision. That's all for now... more later.

Nothing new...

Tyler is officially 13. I feel OLD. She is having a friend spend the night tonight after swim team. Her grandmother will be taking her out to lunch. Her new computer and printer have not yet arrived, so we will celebrate today, tomorrow and through the weekend. At this time (it is 12:14 am) thirteen years ago, my water was breaking and I was sleeping in the mess. Amazingly, when I really think about it, I still remember the day (morning) and the experience. I even remember calling the hospital to see if I should come in and them telling me to get there ASAP only to have Kirk get into the shower while I loaded the car seat and packed the bags (unprepared for the first born?)... It was all good that we took so long, made the hospital stay shorter... Tyler was born just two hours after arriving at the hospital. I hope I never forget... maybe if I just tell Tyler the story every year on her birthday I will always remember how great that day was - she likes hearing the story; maybe because she likes knowing her dad and I remember all the special details of her special day?

At least a train wasn't coming and traffic was light :)

I fell off of my new expensive beautiful bike. I was on my usual morning ride... and hit the train tracks wrong. Kirk warns me every day about this particular intersection as the tracks are on a sharp diagonal and with thin tires you really have to hit a track at a perpendicular angle to avoid peril. I do not know what I did, but I did something wrong and my front tire went into the track and in slow motion I flew off the bike and skid across the street leaving some elbow skin on the road. My head bounced - great helmet, didn't feel a thing... My booty (on the left) is a big knot and my knees are bruised. My bicycle is just fine. Kirk was with me so he played Dr. Kirk and made sure me and my bicycle were okay before patting my head and sending me home. It was so embarrassing... My bicycle is not all dinged up, just the brake and geer shift levers on the left are scratched so that is good, the carbon fiber frame is still beautiful and intact. I have sustained far worse falls mountain biking so I am good. I think I will be very timid around railroad tracks for some time now, but over time I will get over it... Kirk's new bike comes in today so I will make up for the short ride with a long ride this afternoon...

Job interviews are lessons in humility...

Okay, so I went on another job interview... I am starting to wonder if I am like the cute little puppy that wants to play and no matter how many times you push him aside he still licks and bounces up and wants to play... It sort of reminds me of Soderling's comments after he lost the French open to Federer last weekend. He said he had talked to his coach during practice when he realized who he would meet in the finals (if you don't follow tennis, Soderling does not make it to the finals round often in clay, grass, or outdoor hardcourt tennis)... he and his coach joked about how many times Federer has beat him in the past - to be specific Federer had beat him all eight times they had met in tournaments... so Soderling say surely no one can beat me nine times... that was a good laugh on the championship podium... so maybe I cannot be rejected seven times :) Seriously, the interview went well so now I just have to wait for them to finish all of their other interviews so they can decide who would be the best fit... I would love it, but am staying reserved, after all, this lesson in humility has taught me not to be too excited and not to make plans or dreams to prematurely... I will blog it up once I know the outcome.

She Loves me She Loves me not...today, she loves me...

Teen age daughters... need I say a whole lot more? If you have read even a few of my past posts, you realize I struggle with Tyler and her manner of treating humans. Lately... mostly today, she has been a bit human herself and nearly nice. Cleaning out my computer bag looking for my USB drive I found a small folded paper... upon opening it, I realized it was a note from Tyler... it reads, "Mom, I hope you find this soon. I love you even when you don't think I do. Also, I traded out pencils for your cool one. Love ya lots, Tyler"... Now, I realize the loving note might have been a massage to overshadow the fact that she took my favorite mechanical pencil, but I guess I am desperate and will take what I can get. The sappy part or the desperate part is that I taped the note to the front of my desk file so I can see it when I am seated at my desk working. Wow! I see this through a different lens telling my blog the story... but I stick by my note - she loves me today and we have not fought yet today and I am getting ready to go to bed, so one fight free day is a winning streak in our house. Tomorrow I have school until late so maybe I just won't answer my phone, text messages, or listen to voicemail and we can have a two day streak of luck :)... Oh the joy of motherhood... it is everything I wanted and a few extra lessons that I suppose I deserve to teach me some empathy for my own mother and sibling and well my whole darn family and circle of friends - you have to wonder when the same daughter than troubles me so is described as being so much like her mother - wow... I will have to think about that some more and rationalize that one a bit in another blog on a different day... maybe when I am not so full of love.

Proud Mom Moment

Tyler had her first swim meet yesterday (6/6). She asked Kirk and I not to go. She feels a lot of stress when we watch her compete. So we agreed not to go and what do ya know... my daughter sent me text messages after every event she competed in yesterday. She has no idea how much that meant to me... she did well. She swam every event (back stroke, breast stroke, freestyle, and butterfly). She received ribbons for third place through fifth place finishes. She placed in each event. She was excited to go to breakfast with her coach and team mates after the meet and wants to buy a book to keep her ribbons organized. Even more exciting for me was her attitude and understanding of what her competitions in swim team are all about. She shared her "time slips" for the events. I suggested she put them with her ribbons. She said her and her friends are going to use a notebook to mark all of their times because they know that what matters is not the placing in the race rather their improving on their personal times. I was so proud of her... she is exercising hard, having fun, making friends, and enjoying herself all at the same time. I am so proud of her.

I have done it now...dreams and goals realized...

Okay, I have been talking the "wanna do an ironman" talk for quite some time now. I found a screaming deal on a triathlon time trial/road bike and made the purchase. The bike arrived in just under a week. I purchased some awesome shoes and great pedals... and then I had to get on the thing :). Keep in mind, I have been riding a single speed rigid mountain bike for just over a year... the mountain bike is a stubborn mule compared to the svelt cheetah of a bike I have now. I felt like a novice on ice skates the first time I mounted this new cycle.

So, Kirk has the patience of a little old lady with nowhere to go... he rode around the neighborhood with me and didn't laugh as I rode at the slowest speed possible and took corners like a ninny. It took about 20 minutes and then he tricked me into getting onto a main road and I let loose! This bike is FAST!

We watched the mens final of the French Open and then headed out on a ride. We rode for two hours with plenty of hills and minimal stops and starts. I now feel comfortable and confident on the bike. I just love it. I go in on Tuesday for a "proper" fitting... they will but the bike on a trainer platform and watch me ride. This will allow them to adjust my seat properly and make sure everything is in line for me to execute proper form (the rest is up to me). Today was an intense workout... I love passing people on the road :) and the other cyclist wave at me like I am part of their club... LOL - we did get a kick out of that. I could actually keep up with Kirk for once - bad news is his road bike is on the way... so once he gets gears he will give me a screaming run for my money - at least I know I will always have a great workout.

Stay tuned for pictures of the new bike... Kirk took one of me riding I just have not downloaded into the computer. So, now I am on track with my goal...pretty exciting and intimidating all at the same time.

Reminders to do things differently...

The following youtube clip got me thinking about the need to think about different ways of approaching things - life in general... do everything the way you are "supposed" to OR figure out ways to energize your actions... who is to say which way is the right way...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o

Grades, Saying Good Bye, and Great Movies made for Children

Tyler's report card finally came! My daughter passed all of her classes. She has A's, B's, and C's with one D in Spanish. What a ride this school year has been. We have decided this summer will include daily reading and we are enrolling her in math tutoring to keep her skills fresh and to instill some study skills. We have a friend that runs a tutoring business, mostly for college students, and she is willing to take Tyler on to assist in skill development and organizational training. We have her back on track, we just have to keep her on track next school year - no need to repeat the drama.

We said "Good Bye" to Mr. Edward and and Ms. Rawjanee this week. We gave them a gift basket full of the teas and nuts they enjoy and a card thanking them for the many years they have nurtured our girls. They took care of Tyler and educated her for three and a half years - they remembered her 9 years later when we sought their school out for Dylan. Dylan was absolutely precious - she hugged and kissed her friends. She told them "I am going to a new school and I will miss you honey, it will be okay". I cried. I get very attached to those I choose to care for my children while I am working.

Kirk and I took Dylan to see "UP" this past weekend. In summation, I cried. Not just little tears, I sobbed right there in the theater. I found the story to be precious and touching (obviously), but seriously, maybe I need my hormones checked or I need more therapy. It is a great movie - both humorous and touching. Dylan and Kirk both enjoyed the show as well. I am finding lately that I am very touched by the messages in the motion pictures (cartoon form) I watch with Dylan. Kung Fu Panda was the same way for me. I cried. Name me a children's animated feature film and I will recount for you the tearful memories I have of the experience :).

On the theme of crying - my baby brother's wife had a baby today (a big baby). I called him to congratulate him and see how all were doing. We talked for a few minutes. During our conversation I kept remembering the days we would play together and I would call him Tina (did I mention I dressed him up like a girl). We were close when we were young. We don't talk so much any more. No reason, just busy on both ends I suppose. It was great to hear from him and to hear his "grown up" way of explaining his experience and happiness. I was driving home from work when I got off the phone with him. I cried.

San Diego was THE great get away....

If only they understood at work that when someone takes vacation that means leave them alone until they return it would have been perfect... but I did realize (eventually) I had the power not to answer the phone :) 

Tyler stayed with friends - not interested in family vacations... I have received sufficient criticism for allowing my twelve (almost thirteen) year old to decide that she does not want to participate with the family... but I can honestly say I do not want to be around her when she is not happy... that does not make for a fun vacation. She made arrangements with parents I know and communicate with and had her own version of fun while we were gone. 

Kirk, Dylan and I enjoyed Sea World and the beach... found a farmers market and just had a relaxing time... I think Dylan talked non stop the entire week... I felt like my ears were going to explode at times :) At Sea World, we went to the Elmo 4-D experience... Dylan did not like this... they squirt water at you etc... when we left, she was so mad she said "this was not necessawy - Elmo did not need get me wet, I don't like this, I do not want to do this... " and repeated this over and over the whole way out... Kirk and I were doing the silent laugh so hard our abs got a total work out! Dylan loved the penguins and the whales (Shamu). During Shamu, she was concerned the whales would eat the people with their big teeth... during moments of silence, she asked " are they dead"... so not sure what was going on in her mind, we sat far away and she seemed to have a good time and said she loved it, but she was having strange thoughts.  We came back rested and ready to get on with stuff... (and did I mention Kirk and I are all caught up with the "real housewives of New Jersey - the worst show- such a train wreck, we watched it nightly (no cable at home) and even reruns)...

Classes start up again on Monday and it will be back to work. They have announced our dissertation committee chairs and co chairs so I am on the downward thrill of this program... a lot of writing and reading in this coming year... that much closer to being finished :) Moving right along... planning my next trip to Ocean Beach... Until next time... check out the drum set this guy had going on at the farmers market - quite the resourceful guy...

Here is the pink prom dress...

Okay, I did have fun chaperoning the Prom... Here you see the pose of the evening captured by one of my teachers... The pink dress - I just love it... not sure where else I will wear it... but I love it.

Reverse Psychology

Dylan is going through a phase of whining and pouting etc... I have mastered getting her to smile and snap out of it... I could charge you for this information, but I will give this away for free :)... it is so silly...

When Dylan is in a "mood" I look at her seriously and use a stern tone to tell her "there is to be no smiling at my house, do you hear me?" I don't even have to finish the phrase to get her to crack a smile and giggle... every time.... she loves it - she will try to fake disappointment to get me to say it to her again and she can't do it...

Doesn't work with Tyler :)

Nothing Takes the Place of a Little R&R...

Three days into vacation time and I am relaxed! I missed the last day of school - didn't have to deal with the M100 explosion, four fights, or the water bombs... rather I was out cycling and enjoying some time with Kirk - reconnecting with each other...Kirk Dylan and I are heading to San Diego tomorrow for time on the beach, tennis, and some Sea World fun. You read correctly - my teen does not want any part of the vacation... she will be with a friend while we are gone. It bothers me that she doesn't want to go, but at the same time, I know what happens when I force her to engage with the family... and it's not pretty or fun...so Dylan is excited to go see the penguins... in the whole brochure - penguins is her reason to go to Sea World :)

We will enjoy the break... right when we return it is back to work, Dylan will start at her new school, and I will be back to night school... and Tyler's swim team workouts will begin nightly... our week of R&R will be much enjoyed by all four of us...

Okay, so I am not as organized as I thought...

Well, I had all intentions of staying current with the blog... No excuses, I will just get to the update! :)  Let's start with Tyler... she is doing well - School is out for the summer in two days (not that she is reminding us daily). She is getting reading for the rigors of summer swim team... daily work outs and she will be walking to and from which is a work out in itself...Then she will fill up the rest of the time with friends and "hanging out". Her current favorite thing to talk about is the upcoming 13th birthday. She wants a co-ed swim party at our house with parents on their best behavior...followed by an all girls sleep over. So this is sounding like 24 hours of giving up our privacy, peace and quiet and in general our home... sure, why not right? How could I forget the frog she brought home from school today... she is the lucky student to keep the frog over the whole summer... joys of life :) she is happy and Dylan will love it...and the best part, we get to give it back at the end of the summer... a pet with no long term commitment.

Now Dylan is also doing well, she is getting ready to change to a new Montessori preschool. her school is closing (very sad story)... but we found something real close by that is just perfect... they even have daily yoga! It is just going to be great. Dylan acts like it will be "no big 

deal" so I hope that continues. She starts June 8. Right now her preoccupation is getting mommy into the swimming pool with her... she loves to kick around or play on the steps... she has two pretty swimsuits and loves to wear them. She is exercising a lot of "will" these days and challenging authority or mainly mommy... doesn't like to go to bed... she thinks owls are in there (when she hears the wind whistle through the windows... ) sort of cute. 

Kirk and I are as fine as we can be... one or both are going through mid-life crisis and don't enjoy each other's company... but we will survive. I am enjoying a short break in graduate classes (another two weeks and back to work). 

 As if I need the stress, I am in the running for two additional principalships outside of my district... one of these days, it will be my turn... have to keep trying - you just never know. Kirk is still a cycling maniac on the road and on the mountain... he reads everything on the topic and has the scientific formula for checking his cadence, heart rate, etc.... to determine exercise effect etc... He is "into it"! 

My biological sister, Sheila, was driving through Chandler... remember, she is a long haul truck driver... and gave us a call so the girls and I got to "hang out" at the truck stop with her for two hours... that was fun... how could it not be with candy, junk toys, and ice cream all right there - we had fun visiting and playing with the toys...Dylan was especially fond of Sheila... cried a lot when it was time to go, wants Sheila to come to our house to visit and play with her. 

So in summation... we are all doing well enough, progressing through life in our appropriate stages and staying relatively happy. What more could we want? Maybe I will get another post in before another month passes us by... 

Week End Shuttle Service

Wow, not to sound ungrateful, but I think I might scream if I have shuttle teen agers to and from the mall one more time this weekend - aaaagggghhhhh! I could say no - but then they would be at my house hanging out telling me they are bored... Dylan and I are headed out to the park to play... you would surely laugh if you could see what she is wearing... tank top, mismatched pants, and red glittery ballerina shoes (her new favorite)... I did tell the salespeople at nordstroms I would quit shopping there if they continued to put out sparkly shoes that match nothing out where my daughter can see and reach them... yes, I could say no, but if you notice a trend, that is not my forte... off to enjoy the sun... just a few more weekends before our pool will be warm enough for that to be our weekend fun time... summer is hear (weather wise) ... fun fun fun... 

Updates are in order...

I really am trying to be more diligent about keeping this blog effort current...but life gets in the way of recording history :). So here are the updates that I can think of.

Tyler: Grades have been great for the past three weeks! Mid-Term Progress Report= ALL A's and B's in the core classes! I knew she could do it, and hoped she would prove it to herself and she did... ! All assignments turned in, extra credit done when available and she is actually doing homework. She has her phone back from 7-9pm each night and on the weekends. So while she considers that "lame", she does follow the directions knowing I will take it back if she defies me with the phone. She is not grounded and is making better decisions about friends and the activities she is engaging in with friends. She still thinks I am a pain (but then again, those of you who know me have thought the same thing at times)... but she does understand the new rule - "we do not YELL at mom" and with a few reminders she is staying in line with that edict. Tyler struggles with the moods during her time of the month and I just have to remember to be patient and Kirk just has to remember to be scarce... (doesn't like to know about the whole period thing... freaks them both out). She had an accident at school and had to have her grandma pick her up some clean clothes to deliver to the school (Kirk and I were not available to make that clothing run)... all worked out well and none of the kids saw what happened... but I was mortified that Kirk's mother was in her room! Her room is a nuclear disaster - clothes shoved in every crevasse and just an overall pigsty... I try to remember that I was awfully messy like that, but I was trying to keep it a secret from Kirk's mom... I am still apologizing for the mess :). Tyler is doing well with swimming, she likes it and is looking forward to swim team... so am I - I just want her to participate in something I can cheer her on in and she can see the attention focused on her... she misses that and in the other aspects of her life, it is challenging to cheer her on as I feel like she is a horse and I am pulling with two hands and both feet to get her to move... so I am excited to cheer for her every Saturday this summer while she is participating in swim meets...

Dylan: Cute and ornery mixed into a tiny package! She is very determined to dress herself each day. I have made the mistake (over and over - I am a slow learner apparently) of telling her what to wear or dressing her while she is sleeping... only to find that she will take it all off and stare me down screaming... not a battle I like to have while running late in the morning. So many mornings she wears the same outfit she has worn for the previous several days. Every now and then I pose a compelling argument and she wears something different... the problem is I am grasping at straws with this technique and can never remember which compelling argument worked so I have to start from scratch each day... I even tried putting the outfits in the laundry or "hiding" them only to have her throw a tantrum until I miraculously find them - I wonder if that is considered enabling? She is fixated on mommy - loves to be with me and gets so excited when I come home... everybody needs somebody who is fixated on them - makes all the stress and/or gloom go away instantaneously! She is just beside herself with joy regarding her new neighbors...kiddos her age....

Kirk - Kirk doesn't change too much, he is still cycling and playing tennis and puttering around the house.  With the girls and I being "such girls", it is nice for all of us to know we can count on Kirk to maintain some sense of "even keel"... we count on his level headed consistency :) One has to have some sympathy for the guy with two of us with inconsistent hormones (on the same schedule anyway) and the little one ... He actually has made a habit of spoiling Dylan... I spoiled Tyler as a little one but Dylan is definitely Daddy's girl...

Me - Work, Grad studies, Exercises... all just fine and keeping me busy. I chaperoned the junior prom last night... fun to see the students dressed up... I bought a pretty dress to wear :) (any excuse to shop I suppose)... it is a pink satin dress and it was so nice to buy a size 8 and have it fit just perfectly. I have recovered enough from my bone fractures (third rib from top on right side and right hand - palm) to cycle and play tennis. I ran through it all along but now I can exercise and breath freely. I made it through with no pain medication so I am proud of that... Now I just have to get my confidence again on my bike. I have ridden since I fell, but now I am a bit timid on risky trails but in time I will be back to my usual self. I am investigating road bikes I think my next phase of exercise insanity is to start training for a triathlon... there are some short distance ones in Arizona to get into good shape, but my goal is to sign up and finish the Iron Man in Tempe, Arizona in November 2011... right before I turn 40... that gives me 1.5 years to train... by then I will be knee deep in my dissertation so that will be a great distraction :) So much for living in the moment... LOL never been my forte... I like to have long term in the distance goals.  

Well, it is a beautiful day outside so I think I will head out with the family to play some tennis at the park. Hope you are all doing well - 

"Prettyful"

Little kids are what make everything okay - at least that is what I have decided... they are so darn cute and they say the most precious things. Dylan has created a new word - "prettyful"... she has dresses that are prettyful, and toys that are prettyful, and when she wants her mommy to be happy she says, "Mommy you are so prettyful". You can't help but smile at that stuff.

I finally understand the "egg shell" comment... !

Okay, as a teen I never really understood why my family would get mad and tell me they were "tired of walking on egg shells around me..." . Honestly I thought "how self absorbed, this is not about you, I am in crisis..." LOL - seriously though, I didn't understand the reference. Now with my own tween experiencing her own versions of personal crisis and finding her mother to be the perfect object for torture I TOTALLY GET IT! I come home from work and she is usually at the table doing homework - (since she is grounded until she is caught up) I look at her face to see what type of night we are going to have... here are the two main options:
1. We make eye contact and she smiles and says "hi mom, did you have a good day?" To which I smile, sigh in relief and we proceed with small talk (I still stay somewhat braced as usually she will hit me up with a request for money or something like that) OR
2. We make eye contact and she grimaces and says "why are you looking at me, why do you always look at me, I didn't do anything, this is not fair, you ruin my life....etc." Then I make a beeline out of the room and ask Kirk if he wants to leave and go play some tennis :)

In all honesty, things were pretty yucky the past couple of weeks... Tyler made a lot of bad choices in school and at home and I had to be firm and strict and all of those things you have to do to save your children from self destruction. So grounded, no computer, no phone, and limited contact with the outside world... finally, we are talking civilly again and she is getting the point that "i love you and can I have five bucks" do not belong as one permanently connected phrase - takes away from the sentiment :)

Tyler is catching up with her homework... she is one day away from two full weeks with no missing assignments and her grades are coming up. She has decent grades for the past two weeks, but her overall average still stinks. She will earn her phone back if the Friday grade check has no missing assignments and her grades are all As and Bs... she will also be off of her grounding... doesn't mean she is going anywhere but the possibility is there...

Tyler is going to be on the summer swim team at a local swim center. She will have four days a week of practice and meets every Saturday for the months of June and July. We are all looking forward to that fun. She is taking a break from tennis, for whatever reason she is rebelling from the sport her dad and I love to participate in (not a surprise I suppose) but we did tell her that she could do any sport, she just had to be active - so swimming it is!

So, mom, I am sorry for making you feel like you had to walk on egg shells... Hopefully I learned from experiencing your parenting what to do when she gets into another downward spiral in her teenage roller coaster... she is on an upswing right now, happy, smiling, being nice and HELPFUL, (knocking on my wood desk - sounds like laminate) so I will choose to enjoy this one day at a time and I will keep tentatively checking her face when I walk into the house at the end of the day... of course once she has her phone back she will start calling me again to see if I am on my way home and I can feel out the situation before I get in the house... I am hoping Tyler's teen angst won't last as long as it seems mine was... I would rather enjoy being her mother than dread what will happen next. So I will have to remind myself every day to take this one day at a time with her...

In talking to a friend who is a bit older than me, I realized a few things I had forgotten already as a mother... my friend was telling me that she couldn't remember her mother hugging her after she was about 10 or so... the context had to do with things going on with her mom now etc. but it got me thinking about when I had last hugged Tyler. While it had not been years, it certainly had been a while. When we fight I don't always want to hug her and we had been fighting a lot... so I decided I was going to hug Tyler at least once a day. Now at first Tyler resisted a bit or would ask me for money while I hugged her which made me mad... but we have gotten past that and every night before we go to bed (except Thursday unless she stays up to wait for me) and every morning before I leave for work we hug. I hope this make a difference because I even hug her when I am mad at her... she doesn't always hug me back, but last night she came in and hugged me while I was in bed watching TV - it had been a long time since she had initiated hugging me too. I am guessing we will be okay (and I tell myself that every day).

So for today, no egg shells and I have class so I won't see her when I get home, she will be asleep...so Thursday, March 26, 2009 is a good day... two phone conversations and a talk in the morning and we made it through a day without a fight or clash of any kind... ! :)

I'm Back On Track...

Wow, days fly by... We are all surviving - some of us doing better at it than others :) Kirk, Dylan, and I just returned from Indian Wells, CA - we were able to watch some incredible tennis - spent four days at the BNP Paribas Tennis Tournament and saw some great players. We all especially enjoyed watching them warm up, you can get so close and listen to what they are working on and see how they practice and correct errors etc... so great... saw Roddick (my favorite) during a real long practice with friends at La Quinta Resort and watched others at the tournament. It was fun - Dylan enjoyed swimming in the evening best, she tolerated the tennis all day to get to the pool.  

Tyler stayed with her grandma - didn't want to be with her embarrassing parents. Plus she is mad because she is grounded and has no more cell phone due to poor grades, and obsessive phone talking (one cal was 516 minutes) seriously, there is no one needing to talk that long!  She is now hitting the books to hopefully regain some privileges... she needs all As and Bs to restore normal life routines. She is at 1-B, 2-C, and 1-D.... so she is hitting the books. She did make swim team for this summer. She is taking one more class between now and then to finesse her strokes and then it will be four days a week with meets every Saturday... I don't know who is more excited, me or her, but whatever, she will be on the swim team. 

Dylan is pretty funny. Right now while Tyler is going through her early teen rebellion, Dylan reminds Kirk and I why we wanted kids... and we are sure that when Dylan is a teen we will look at Tyler as a young adult and be reminded that we will live through it again...

We forgot to take Dyl's figurines on our trip and she began playing with her fingers (as people)... she just loves to have animals or people and make them talk to one another... she will do it all day - no kidding, the whole car trip, her fingers were talking to each other and having great adventures.

Update on my birth mother... she went through the radiation treatment for the cancer in her brain... she is in complete remission. We are all surprised, as they were giving months and then indicating remission... hopefully she will stay healthy at this point, her body has a lot of rebuilding to do and she needs to take care of herself. Lerry is relieved, hopefully he will be able to move on in his world, he put a lot of hold, worried of committing to anything in case he needed to go and help his mom. 

Kirk is fine - riding his bike and staying fit is his thing and he definitely works hard at it.... from the goofy bike pants to the funky heart rate monitor... while we laugh at him, he will probably outlive us all :) but we do laugh anyway :) Tyler had a nightmare that Kirk showed up at school to give her lunch money and walked into her class wearing his riding pants (with pad on seat) and his bike shoes, helmet etc.... just picture it... she woke up mortified and told him to never show up at school for anything - LOL! 

The four of us are doing well, happy enough, and figuring out how to survive in the same house without harming each other permanently... Let's see if I can update sooner than a month from now...!

Teesie, this one's for you...

Feeling slightly under the weather, I have taken a few days off of work... this allows me to pick Dylan up from preschool... For Dylan this is a huge treat as we always do something fun when I pick her up. So yesterday we went to Baskin and Robbins and she walked along the newly built ledge that allows the shorties to pick their own flavors. Dylan tried quite a few flavors with the "little spoon" before settling on sprinkle cake. As she ate her ice cream, she talked my ears off... "we should do this two times mom" " can you pick me up this many days (with three fingers raised)" and when I told her we would just do this sometimes on special occasions she responded, "okay, just on special times". So as we ran a few errands, we were driving by the library and Dylan told me she wanted to get a book... so in we went. She was talking all the way... "let's get a book about ducks mom, what did the mother duck do (I think she must have sang that song at school that day)" So we went in and picked a video and three books... Dylan played Barney on the computer and did not want to leave. She went to the magazine rack and found me a People magazine and a runner magazine and told me to "sit down and read mommy, it's the library" so that I did. As I read, she went and sat at every chair at every table in the children's section reading her book for awhile in each seat. She greeted every adult and child in her new seating arrangement. She was so cute... and mom, she didn't want to leave the library...

So last night, she wanted to read all of the books we checked (all three - I have learned don't check out more books than can be read in one sitting). Her new favorite? Don't let the pigeon ride the bus... I had never read these before, Dylan was beside herself giggling... we read it five times... and she is such a softy, by the third page she was already saying "yes, he can drive the bus" Too funny - the giggling even when she new what was going to happen next... in fact the anticipation giggling was the most fun...

Where was Tyler? At grandma's house doing homework on grandma's computer (she has a working printer)... So, here is an informal poll, we have a family vacation to Indian Wells to watch the BNP Paribas Tennis tournament over spring break... Tyler does not want to go, she is asking if she can stay at her grandmother's house. I am thinking she should go and be with the family - do I force her to go so she can torture me with her attitude throughout the week or force her to go and hope she can have some fun and make the best of the time as a family or do I let her stay with her grandmother? Tricky question for me, but I bet you all have an easy answer (or non-answer probably from some of you)... and no fair saying "you have to decide that one Kerri"...

I think I need to go see a movie...

The weather is going between rainy and Arizona sunshine... The girls are stuck between wanting to be outside and wanting to hibernate... only when it rains they want out and as it clears up they cry about our encouragement to get outside... go figure - Kirk thinks it is a girl thing (being contrary) he stopped short of saying they got it from me :). We had a busy week, seemed to be constantly running from one thing to the next... Tyler has three "fs" so she is grounded... she can get it done, she just loves her friends and now I am finding out that some of her friends - best friends - that I assumed were girls are actually boys... when she talked about "Maddy" she was really saying "Matty" and "Dani" is really "Danny"... these are the friends she hangs out with the most... I feel as lost as Bernie Mac on his silly sitcom America... Tyler doesn't seem to mind being grounded, she gets her work done and then veg's out on her cell phone... a few extra chores, but seriously, it is more of a punishment for Kirk and I as she sulks around dragging her feet and saying "what, what, what" " quit looking at me"... Dylan has realized how to dress herself... she discovered her ability to do this "all by myself" two days ago... this weekend, she has changed clothes at least four times each day... and she is thorough, she does not just change part of an outfit, she strips down bare naked and announces to all she is going to change then starts over from scratch... very cute... Must be why I am so happy... not because she can dress herself... but because I do have two pretty cute kids... they balance out any stress with full blown cuteness and joy...

On another note to keep you all informed... I did not get chosen to be the principal. They actually didn't chose either of us... with our district's dismal financial situation they decided to take a district level administrator (assistant superintendent) and name her as a the principal for a year... all in a day's work... to be honest, I still have a job, I know my job well and I make a pretty decent impact on our school community where I am right now, so maybe when it opens up again I will put my hat in at that time... it was a good experience to interview and it built up my confidence in the contributions I do and can make... It just wasn't my time :) So with that, I just got back from my run... it is pretty late, I procrastinated all day... and we are off to Target and a movie... the date night of busy parents - target and a movie (maybe Kevin can use that concept in a commercial)... I think we will see "He's really not that into you" of course then I will have to read the book which will most likely be more funny but the commercials alone have sold me on this movie... Kirk says it reminds him of me when I was in college... :) but that is a whole different blog... Bye for now...

Writing letters is hard work when you are three. With Valentines Day just around the corner, Dylan has a lot of work to do with all of her friends, relatives and cousins to think about... She is really into coloring lately so it is a good thing her Poppy and Teesie got her stocked up on coloring books and crayons at Christmas time... she has plenty to keep her busy... There is something very peaceful about watching her color and write... she is just too cute... 

The Big Interview

Well, as you know I am in the process of interviewing to take on the role of principal at my high school... so I had my second interview on Friday afternoon... We were interviewed by two members of the Board... in retrospect, knowing what I do about each of the two, I am not surprised things shook out as they did... Anyway, I had a good time in the interview, questions were fine and they avoided completely the issue of my not living in the community (in the past that has been a ginormous issue for some)... so I walked out of the interview to see my friend the associate superintendent hanging out and waiting with the other applicant (at this point there are only two of us left in the running)... He smiled a "hi" my way and I gave him a high five only to point out that he must have come to my school that morning to see what I was wearing as he had copied me... I went out and bought a new gray suit (size 10 - I am so excited) and a stylish pink shell along with a cool belt.... I wore it all day... so anyway I know he must have come to see what his competition was up to as he showed up in gray pants, a pink shirt and maroon tie... as you can see in the picture we were both trying to add subtlety to our large and dominant personalities with these muted colors... at least the photo shoot distracted him prior to his interview :)... I hung out with my friend the associate superintendent to find out at the end of both interviews they still cannot make a decision between he and I so we will in fact each have another interview and this time it will occur in front of the entire school Board... this is actually fine as there is a slight bit of controversy about this contest, and ultimately the Board has to approve the next principal, so why not let them choose... Don't know when that will be, but I will let you know... The picture of me and Steve was taken after my interview and before his... we both look happy enough :)

Haircuts, teasing, and another week slipped away...

Well, the beauty queen you see here went to "great clips" for a hair cut on Saturday and had a ball. She got her hair shampooed, cut, and styled with a lollipop to keep her busy while she waited for her sister. Now that we can see her eyes, she is cuter than we remembered. Of course a new hairdo requires new accessories... so off we went to the store to buy barrettes -  if two barrettes are good why not all six in your hair at the same time? Since she is the "queen" she wore six wonderful barrettes all day... 

Dylan was so funny while she was waiting for Tyler to have her hair cut, she didn't mind chiming in with her 10 cents on the situation... the stylist was having a heck of a time getting the tangles out of Tyler's hair (dreadlocks were forming - really - hence the haircut)... so the stylist made a comment wanting me to notice the mess and the 20 minutes it was taking just to get her hair ready to cut, I let her know I would make sure she had a decent tip while laughing... and Dylan said "mommy didn't want to yell at Tyler today"... so funny and true at the same time... Tyler has monstrously thick and long hair and does not take very good care of her hair... so when I help wash and comb her hair periodically (because it drives me nuts) we generally get into an argument because it is a gigantic mess... so Dylan was right on target and not shy about repeating that to strangers :).  So, Tyler decided on a shorter layered cut... she is not excited about pictures so I can just describe that it is flippy and falls at its longest right at the shoulder... long enough still for a pony tail and the very trendy comb over bangs... all the rage with the preteen set... So, my girls are now stylin'... and as you can see, Dylan will pose for the camera at a moments notice...  

To change the subject, I will tell you about Dylan's teasing streak... not sure where that came from, but she gets the whole concept of teasing her mother. Every now and then I fish for the loving comment and/or declaration of adoration towards mommy... so I thought I had the fail proof fishing lure... "Dylan, who is your favorite mommy?"... my little smarty pants looked at me with her spunky little twinkle and said, "Daddy is my favorite mommy! hehehehehehehe" and then we got to hear that all day, "Daddy is my favorite Mommy hahahahahah!" She finds herself so amusing, and so does her dad! 

I am not sure how time has come to speed up lately, the weekends get her much quicker than I expect... I think I am ready for a day off in the near future... We are headed to Palm Springs/Indian Wells in March so I think I can hold off for that... Of course Tyler is not looking forward to to the trip unless she can bring a friend... four days away from home with her family at a tennis tournament is about as exciting as a plate of spinach for her... she would rather starve :)! Luckily, Kirk is coordinating with some friends of ours that have a couple of kids Tyler likes to meet us out there, so she will choose to be a part of our family adventure... She might even have some fun , but I won't dare suggest it... the last time I commented she looked cute in her outfit, she yelled at me, "mom stop it, now I have to go and change!" I thought wow, I can't win for losing here... I am sure my mom will get a smile out of that experience as she might hold onto some similar exchanges with a much younger version of me :). Talking to a preteen girl is a slippery slope - moms can't win so sometimes I just have to ask myself how far down the slope I want to fall - other times I just want her to change because I don't want her to leave the house in the outfit and don't want her to know I hate it or she will wear it every day... (so I tell her cool she looks - mom saying cool is the kiss of death to anything in the room)  LOL - manipulation is not all bad right?

Finding the past just in time...

As you know, I found and met members of my birth family about a year ago. There have been ups and downs with different members of this family over the past year, but for most of us there is a connection we made, a bond that represents caring in a way that fills the holes we each had in our lives for different reasons.

In talking with my brother and aunt today, I learned my birth mother's cancer has spread to her spinal fluid, brain fluid, and bones. They will be trying some sort of treatment the beginning of next week, if this doesn't work or if she does not respond well there is about a three month guesstimate for her to live...

When I first heard the news, I had no reaction other than feeling sad for my brother. I know that his mother is all he really has in terms of his history, memory, and family. The rest of us care and are here for him, but I realize for him this is so very sad and scary - his memories of her are not the best, but she is his mother and he loves her.

My mom asked me how I felt, I sort of felt at the time like I felt nothing... but I am sad, not really sure why. I am glad I took the opportunity to meet my birth mother a year ago. We had our bad experience (from my perspective) but it is sad knowing that she is going to experience pain, maybe fear, and I worry most that she does not forgive herself for anything she perceives as bad in her life- she does not seem to be very forgiving of herself and that worries me for anyone facing death in close proximity. I am not sure, what if anything I should do or say as I am not a happy memory for her.

I do not understand why things happen the way they do and feel badly that I cannot help my brother deal with his sadness - I can listen and that is about it, I don't even have a lot to say... I am crying but not really sure why... I found them in time and believe that maybe I am supposed to help my brother not feel so alone - he wants to come out and visit after he has resolution about what is going to happen with his mother. I am rambling a bit... trying to process this information... she didn't raise me, but she made sure someone did... she and I did share some honest frank moments and the long awaited hug that occurred only after a three day visit... only to be followed by a horrible phone call making me think I should have left her alone... I thought I forgave her, but I think my tears are because I have to forgive her and talk to her again... for some reason, that scares me a little bit... it is easier to be mad or hurt and ignore the situation...

When did my big girl grow up and out of her mom?

Okay, I am not sure exactly when this happened, but it happened... Tyler and I went from being uber close to me being an outsider - the following pictures depict my attempt at capturing innocent footage of my Tyler in her natural habitat... a messy room on the phone and computer at the same time... She asks us to paint her walls and covers them in magazine photos... she gave me the foot - it could have been worse... I'd rather the foot than the finger. On a serious note, Tyler is doing well - enjoying her social life. In the seventh grade what is more important than girl friends and boys? School dances and the mall run her life and make it real easy to decide on consequences - nothing speaks louder about doing what you are supposed to do than the idea of "everyone" yes "everyone" but you being at the mall - I vaguely remember the idea of "everyone" which generally means at least one other person :)... There are boys in the horizon, they appear at every mall trip and call and text pretty frequently... she is pretty top secret most of the time, but we are pretty sure there isn't A boy, just many cute boys... but she did come home quite happy from the last dance - (dad was worried, I didn't really notice)... Enjoy the photos of Tyler and realize this is about what we see of her, she is a recluse unless you are 11-13, have money to give, or appear famous...Gotta love the girl... she is personality plus on her worst day and a gem on her best...

Where does the time go...?

Not really sure what has kept me busy lately - too busy to post, but nothing to really tell ... This past weekend, Dylan went to a birthday party for a friend at the park... she just LOVED the magician. I never would have guessed a magician could capture a crowd of 3-5 year olds...they giggled throughout. Dylan got to be the assistant for a trick and thoroughly enjoyed the limelight.  She is growing up so fast... Not only are my days blending together, my baby is getting grown before my eyes and I think I might be missing a few things... but I sure didn't miss the party and the hilarity of the magician through the eyes of Dylan... 

Change in title....

LOL, well apparently, some have told me they were hesitant to look at "girls, girls, girls" as others might at a glance see this as a bookmark and assume some other type of content than information about the happenings of my family...so "Kerri's Girls" it is for now...

To host or not to host the pre-teen sleep over, that is the $10 million question....

This week the answer was no... I will allow the neighbor to have that pleasure. I love my pre teen and most of her friends, but three girls for a sleep over - not gonna do it... I did host that nightmare last time and after three hours it was fights the remaining 24 hours. Same girls - and hopefully no fights this time. There are those benefits of having the kids at our house, but I think we need to share the joy... for sure on the sleep over action. Tyler has become somewhat of a recluse these days, and doesn't like her picture taken, but here are a few we snuck in because she was caught off guard (getting a pedicure with her cousin, or just hanging out with nothing better to do than play along with mom).

Dylan's First Tennis Lesson

Okay, 3 is sort of young for starting sports... but my tennis coach encouraged us to bring Dylan to the beginner tennis class this session. We asked Dylan if she wanted to be in tennis class and she was very excited - so it was a go. The kids were all a bit older/bigger, but Dylan held her own. She was a good listener and followed all the directions. Very cute. The only problem we had was when I tried to "help"... I was quickly told "I can do it myself!" and of course I went way back to the sidelines (where of course dad knew to stay all along)  to watch and take pictures... Here are some pictures of the first tennis adventure for Dylan (she is in the pink pants and striped jacket).

If life's problems could truly be solved by band aids ...

Dylan had a headache the other day, once the band-aid was firmly in place she had a smile and no more headache... I wish my headaches went away that easily. I would try, but everyone at work would then have tangible evidence that I have truly fallen off of my rocker. 

We all jumped back into our routines yesterday morning. Girls to school and me to work. (Kirk went to work, but didn't really take all that much vacation so not the same). Tyler was up at the crack of dawn (almost literally) with two alarm clocks blaring - she could not wait to slide into her new "skinny jeans" and flip flops (mind you it is Arizona but still 42 degrees in the morning...) she had a pretty pedicure that needs to be seen I suppose. Dylan needed a little prodding to get her sleepy eyes open but once she got going it was non stop talking about her friends and her excitement to see them again. I was very rested and concerned that I would get to work only to have special people bring down... I was kind of excited because I went from a size 18 to a size 14 over the break due to this new "vegetarian lifestyle" so it felt good to put on a pair of pants that fit (loosely I might add) and just feel a tad on the "hot" side.  I did my morning run to make sure I could handle the stress of the day... We all survived the first day back. I got home late but we had dinner together and got to hear the good stuff about the day: Dylan has a new friend at her school and Tyler got new seating assignments.  In talking as a family, it is funny to listen to Dylan learn from Tyler. Tyler told us all about the seating assignments and who she does and doesn't like to sit by (she likes to sit by goofy boys who tell good joke - roll of the eyes, :)) etc... then Dylan asked if it was her turn... Dylan proceeded to tell us the seating arrangement during lunch and who she likes to sit with. Tyler and I got a big kick out of the conversation. So I spared them the details of my day - the important thing was that I was home in time to make dinner and sit down with them for awhile...now we are back at it this morning for day two post vacation. I am thinking I will put a few band-aids in my pocket just in case...